Leave only footprints


Judo Goes On A Hike (Preview Video)

Doing Little Things to Boost Self Esteem

Recently I have been swamped. With the formation of Diligent Loiter Entertainment, LLC I haven’t had time to be me and do all the fun hobbies I enjoy: Blacksmithing, Magic, Music, Woodcarving, Podcasting…the list goes on. Well, this has taken a toll on my self esteem. I don’t understand why it has, but it has. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to do too much and expect too much from myself. But, that’s not the focus of today’s blurb. Today is about what you can do to help boost your self esteem using the skills and hobbies  you already have.

I’ve been focusing on boosting my self-esteem lately. What I’m doing is looking at the things I enjoy doing. For this example, it’s playing guitar. I really like playing the guitar; one thing I’m not too happy with is my singing voice. I feel that, even though it’s confident, it’s not as musical as it could be and my range is rather limited. So! To combat this, I’ve been learning songs that fit my vocal range and sound. I have been told that I sound like the singer from Social Distortion so…I have been learning and playing a bunch of Social Distortion! My vocal range/singing style is very similar to his and when I play a Social Distortion song I feel good about it. It actually sounds like it’s supposed to without trying too hard. This boosts my Self Esteem and I like that.

Now, I’m going to start looking at my other hobbies and see what I can do to help myself feel better about those hobbies and me as a person. Sometimes, taking a step back and re-evaluating what you like to do then approaching it from a “this is for ME” standpoint instead of “this is what I want OTHERS to see” point of view is the best option. It’s your life and you should live it your way. I have forgotten that recently. It’s something we all do from time to time.  We want others to look at us in awe of what we can do, when really, all you need to be is you!

Long days and pleasant nights,




Whitesville Marsh Fishing Camporee

Over the Father’s Day Weekend, Nicky and I went camping with the Boy Scouts of America. We went to the Whitesville Marsh Fishing Camporee as leaders for Troop 736 out of Angelica NY. Here are some pictures showing all of the fun we had!



A Delicious Borsch Recipe

Holy Crap. Look out. It’s a Borsch recipe from someone who’s heritage didn’t have Borsch!

I can normally get all the ingredients from the local grocery store for under $25. You WILL have leftover ingredients, so get creative and come up with some other meal ideas with the extras!


HoKay. Below is the ingredient list (For the spices, I just do what feels right throughout the process)



1 lb Stew Beef (or beef chunk, trimmed and cubed)

1 teaspoon each: dried basil, groun black pepper, smoked paprika

2 teaspoons sea salt

2 Tablespoons of olive oil

6-8 cups beef broth (more broth = more soup! I use two boxes of Wegmans organic or Swanson broth depending on sales)

1 medium to large onion, diced

3 Carrots, diced

1-2 Celery Stalks, diced

3 Large Beets, diced

2-3 Large Potatoes, cubed to about an inch

2 cups shredded cabbage (1/4 of a cabbage) (I slice mine by hand, it’s good enough)

2 Tablespoons fresh dill, chopped

1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped

2-3 green scallions, diced



1 medium onion, diced

2-3 cloves of garlic, crushed/sliced/diced/minced/whateva

1 small can (like 1 cup size) tomato sauce or puree

¼ Cup of Ketchup (you read that correctly)

1 cup water

¼ teaspoon each: salt, black pepper



Here. We. Go.

  1. Coat the bottom of a large pot (I use a Dutch Oven) with some olive oil.
    1. Warm that sucka up over some low-medium heat.
    2. You’re about to sauté, not deep fry.
  2. Drop in the beef and cook thoroughly
    1. Add some salt and pepper to taste
  3. Once the beef is done cooking, remove from the pot and place in a bowl for later.
  4. Start sautéing your mirepoix (onion/carrot/celery mix)
  5. Once it’s all nice and cooked up, add the beef back into the pot, add the beets and add the broth
  6. Add a little more salt and pepper, add some paprika if you feel inclined and add some dried basil.
  8. Get that thing back up to a nice simmer, reduce heat to low and let it ride/simmer for the rest of the time.
  9. Set a timer for 45 mins.
  10. When the timer goes off, start making the sauce!
    1. Put some olive oil in a frying pan
    2. Sauté the onion and garlic until golden brown (you know what’s up)
    3. Add the tomato sauce/puree, ketchup, water, and salt/pepper
    4. Simmer until the sauce reduces down to a nice marinara consistency (probably about 10 mins or so)
  12. While you’re at it, why not add in those cubed up potatoes, they look like they could use a good soak.
  13. Set a timer for 10 mins.
  14. When that timer goes off, add in the cabbage, fresh dill, fresh parsley, and scallions.
  16. Set another timer for 5 mins.
  17. When the timer goes off, turn off the stove, remove from heat and cover.
  19. Let it sit for at least an hour.
  20. It should still be warm enough at this point so dish it out and enjoy!
    1. You can serve this delicious meal garnished with a sprig of fresh dill if you like to be fancy.
    2. If you want to go old school Russian hardcore traditional style, add a dollop of sour cream or mayonnaise on top.
      1. I know this sounds weird as hell, but I tried it with the sour cream and it was REALLY Freaking good.
        1. It kinda made it taste like a baked potato
        2. The sour cream will sort of separate out and look gross as little sour cream balls. It’s normal.
          1. It still tastes great.
            1. So good.
              1. MmmmMMMMMmmmmMMMMMmmmMMMMMmm


*To make this paleo, swap out the potatoes for some rutabaga. You just need to boil the rutabaga separately for about 20 mins before adding it into the soup*

If you have any questions, feel free to ask below. If you have any comments or suggestions, also, pop them down below!


Paleo/Fitness update 7/23/15

This is just a quick update.

Nicky and I are both working towards getting into shape. The goal isn’t to be body building elites, its to just be fit and not succumb to the pitfall of obesity.

I saw a stat that said less than 1% of obese people will ever reach a healthy weight again. I also saw a stat that said only 6% of smokers will quit and I did that so…Time to be the1% BABY!

I’m almost under 280 for the first time in over 3 months. This feels good.

Next post will be another “Life’s work” “Personal Legend” post about the “Wave of Awesome”

Thanks for letting me be a part of your life.


Time to go Paleo

I have not been the cleanest of eaters. In fact, I have let my body go to shit. I need to air that out and admit to it before I can change the fact that I’m a buffet molester.

The reason I was able to quit smoking was because this time, I was doing it for me. Not anyone else. That is the same approach I’m taking to my new weight loss.

When I quit smoking, I exchanged cigarettes for junk food. Now, I’m ready to lose all the weight I gained.

Time to be honest. I currently weigh 292 lbs. and I look like this:

I don’t want to get “ripped”. I don’t want to get “sexy”. I just want to be healthy and fit.
This time, I’m doing it for me.

GYM419: New Goal = New Plan


So, I was informed that I will be running in the Tough Mudder this August. That being said, I now have a new goal. With the new goal, I now have a new workout plan. The first thing that I need to work on is my upper body strength. Not muscle size. Actual STRENGTH. That’s what lead me to the Onnit Academy. There, I found a free eBook Download, Pull Ups for Max Muscle. This booklet lays out a one month plan to “Maximum Muscle & Upper Body Strength”.

The workout are broken down into groups: Grease the Groove Workouts 1 & 2; Conditioning & Core Workouts 1, 2 & 3;   Arms & Shoulders Workouts 1 & 2; and Back & Core Workouts 1 &2.

I won’t be posting the workouts here. Find them at Onnit.com/academy. I will be tweeting out what workout I’m doing each day.

Basically, what I’m saying is…click on over to Onnit.com, learn some shit and work towards a better you.


Gym419 has the philosophy that there is no quick and easy way to lose weight. We believe that you do not work out to lose weight, losing weight is a side-effect of working out! You should be working out to be better suited as a human being.

Remember: It’s all on you if something goes wrong. I am not a certified trainer. I’m just a guy who is working out and sharing his workouts with the world!



The dreaded leg day. The format is the same as the Upper Body workout: For this style of training, you want to use a 1-10 scale for effort. A 1 would be sound asleep a 9 is when you can’t go any harder/further (but you really could if you dig deeper) a 10 is when you truly hit failure. That being said, a 5 would be like walking up a flight of stairs. A 6 would be like taking the stairs with a full laundry basket. You get the idea…I hope.

You will be doing 2 exercises per body part. One main exercise and a second exercise during your “super set”. You will be doing a set of 12 reps (Level 5 intensity, basically a warm-up), then a set of 10 (Level 6 Intensity), then a set of 8 (Level 7 Intensity), a set of 6 (Level 8 Intensity) then comes your super set, where you do another set of 12 (Level 9 Intensity) followed immediately by the second exercise for 12 reps (Level 10 intensity).

If you are just starting to workout for the first time, I suggest doing the Machop sets. If you haven’t worked out in a while, but know what you’re doing I suggest the Machoke sets. Just until you know how the training is going to treat your muscles. I don’t want you wimping out after the first week. The Machamp sets are where you should be as soon as possible.

Machop: 8-6 Superset 8-8
Machoke: 10-8-6 Superset 10-10
Machamp: 12-10-8-6 Superset 12-12

Quads: Split Squats super set with Full Squats

Hamstrings: Lying Leg Curls super set with Good Mornings

Calves: Standing Calf Raises super set with Barbell Reverse Calf Raises

Abs: Incline Sit-Ups super set with a 90 Second Plank 

And there it is. Your complete Lower Body workout. Subscribe for daily updates. Follow us on twitter @barefootbuffalo These should be getting on a better schedule soon.


Gym419 has the philosophy that there is no quick and easy way to lose weight. We believe that you do not work out to lose weight, losing weight is a side-effect of working out! You should be working out to be better suited as a human being.

Remember: It’s all on you if something goes wrong. I am not a certified trainer. I’m just a guy who is working out and sharing his workouts with the world!



Today, I have some great news. Gym419 is starting up on November 1st. There will be daily workouts posted here on Barefoot Buffalo. Gym419 has the philosophy that there is no quick and easy way to lose weight. We believe that you do not work out to lose weight, losing weight is a side-effect of working out! You should be working out to be better suited as a human being. That being said, the daily workouts will be varied. Some days you may be doing traditional gym workouts while other days you will be crawling on all 4s and rolling around or doing 30 mins of heavy bag training.

Let me tell you a little bit about Gym419….This is not an actual Gym, it’s my workout room at my house. These daily workouts are not personally designed for your use. These workouts will be what I am doing that day. Yes, there will be different levels of difficulty, but that is just because some days you know you can go harder than others so when I plan my workouts I will be planning 3 levels of difficulty. They are: Machomp, Machoke and Machamp.

Basically what I’m trying to say is, if you see these workouts, and you try them, its all on you if something goes wrong. I am not a certified trainer. I’m just a guy who is working out and sharing his workouts with the world!

So! On Saturday, November 1st, stop by and check out the workouts! It’s going to be a blast yo!


“There’s winner…

“There’s winners and losers….not much in between” John Schweikhard

Wine Parings for Corned Beef and Cabbage.

It’s that time of year! Corned beef and cabbage season! If you are wondering what wines go best with this classic Irish meal you are in the right place. 

First, let’s take look at the meal:

Corned Beef:

  • A little fatty (not a big deal)
  • Pretty salty (as long as you’re not adding any it’s alright) 
  • Tasty as hell!


  • Turns out so nice and tasty, if you do it right it gets a little buttery taste to it.

Potatoes, Carrots, Onions, etc.

  • These are here to support the awesomeness that it the Corned Beef.
  • Nice “filler” food.


So…what wines go best with this meal?





None. Be a man, grab a Guinness.



For my corned beef and cabbage recipe, check out https://barefootbuffalo.com/2013/02/21/corned-beef-and-cabbage-recipe/


Long days and pleasant nights,

Shoeless Joe

Corned Beef and Cabbage Recipe

This is an amazingly simple recipe for an amazing classic dinner. You just put everything in a crock-pot, go on an adventure, come back, add your cabbage, set the table, crack a beer and enjoy!


  • 1 medium corned beef brisket
  • 1 medium cabbage
  • 3-4 small onions
  • 1 cup of sliced carrots
  • 5-6 small red potatoes
  • 2 tablespoons of Pickling Spice (trust me)


  • Sliced celery/any other “Stew” vegetables.


  1. Put your corned beef in a crock-pot, add water  to halfway up the meat.
  2. Add a capful of the pickling spice (roughly a tablespoon)
  3. Add everything except the cabbage.
  4. Let cook on low for 6-8 hours, or high for 4 hours.
  5. Quarter the cabbage and add to crock-pot about 1 hour before you want to eat.
  • Add another capful of pickling spice

Then you enjoy!

This will serve 4-6 people. Don’t quote me on that, it’s hard to tell when it’s so good!

Will it ever end?

Your personal journey has no end. What you think today is the ultimate goal will end up being the next step towards your new one. Always remember not to take life too seriously and to have fun every chance you get. Whether that be sharing a bottle of wine with your significant other while watching old James Bond movies or taking a nice walk in the woods, enjoy it. You only get one chance to have fun here, so make the most of it. 



I know this is basic “be happy” crap, but it’s thoughts like this one that are helping me get through this rough patch and back on track.


Thank you for reading this. Comments are always welcome. 


Long days and pleasant nights, 


Shoeless Joe

When it comes, it comes with a fervor!

Wow! It has been a really long time since I have written here. There is good reason for that. Since my last post I was abruptly, yet kindly, let go from my position at the health insurance company. They gave me 2 months severance pay. They were so nice to give me a summer off! During that time so much changed in my life. I began taking martial arts and also started Olympic Weightlifting.

With all of my new free time, I filled it with bettering myself and finding out who I truly am. The martial arts were a great stress reliever and taught me how to focus my energy more efficiently. After about a month of steady training my friend told me about Olympic Weightlifting and how it would help with my explosiveness in the martial arts. So…it was off to the gym! The goal was to do the lifting to get better at my main activity of MMA. My MMA was Muay Thai, Jeet Kun Do, Kali Eskrima Arnis, Savate and Silate. But after training with my lifting coach I discovered that I was really good at picking up heavy weights and throwing them down. That is when the tide shifted.

Olympic Weightlifting was now my main sport and the martial arts where my GPP (general physical preparedness).  After only a month in the lifting realm I competed in my first competition. The district is small, so I only competed against one other person in my weight class. I did fairly well for someone who was so new to the sport, and I beat the other guy! Okay, it was only by 1 kilogram, but I still won! After that competition my love for the sport took off. I started training with my coach more and worked out harder. So hard, that my martial arts training just fizzled out entirely. Since that first competition in June I have competed in two more, one being the District Championships. I took first place in both.  My goal now is to place in the New York State Championships in April.

I’m not the only one lifting either. Both my fiance and her two brothers lift with me.  Our coach has a few other people who are starting to compete as well. We are all doing so well at the sport that we have just became an official team. Team South Buffalo! You can check out the team website even though it’s still super rough. www.wordpress.com/teamsouthbuffalo

During my two months off of work I also spent a lot of my day looking for a new job. I knew my paid vacation was going to have to end and I didn’t want to get stuck on unemployment. I must have applied to hundreds of positions. In the beginning I was being choosy, but towards the end of that second month I was starting to get a little nervous. That’s when I can upon a position that was similar to what I had been doing. The job posting was through a temp agency that one of my fraternity alumni worked at. After I filed my application I gave him a call to see if he could help me out in any way. He said that he would email a guy and I should be getting a call soon. He was right! About 5 mins after I got off the phone with him I get a call from a recruiter. We did the phone interview right then and he asked if I could come in the next day (Tuesday) for an informal face to face interview. Even though he said it was informal I still wore a nice pair of khakis and my best blue dress shirt. The face to face interview went really well. He said that he would forward my information on to the company and he would contact me in a couple days if they were interested. That next morning he calls me to see if I would be available to go to the company for a formal interview on Monday. Of course I would be available! Monday morning comes and I’m on my way to downtown Buffalo for an interview for a job that I applied for exactly one week prior. I take the elevator up to the 7th floor; my heart pounding the entire ride. When I walk up to the receptionist I almost couldn’t speak. My nerves were on fire. Everything was happening so fast. I felt as if this couldn’t be true. Things shouldn’t go this smoothly. I sign in and the H.R. representative takes me into her office for the first part of the interview. Basically she just went over what the job entailed and how being a temp worked. Then I went into the actual interview. Everything went smoothly. I felt as if I answered all of the questions with things that they wanted to hear. After the interview I was told that they would contact my recruiter if they decided to hire me. I called my recruiter after the interview to let him know how it went and he told me that it would be at least Friday before he heard anything. About 20 mins after that phone call he called me back saying that he was told to go ahead and check out my references. That next day I got a voicemail saying that all of references checked out and he had spoke with the company. On Wednesday I get the best news I had received in a while, I got the job and I was starting Monday! I went from unemployed to completing the hiring process in 2 weeks time.

Your personal legend will always be giving you signs. Sometimes they are very clear, sometimes they are subtle. This time, it was like a hurricane! I was laid off, started a new passion and began to find out who I truly am. And to top it all off I went from being unemployed to completing the hiring process in 2 weeks time. Those were two very hectic months for me, but it was all for the better.

Sometimes when things are going really well you tend to forget that things can still go wrong. About a month ago my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer. This is common in older men, and he was definitely older (73). He started going to the Roswell Cancer Institute for  consultations and ultimately a surgery. The surgery was supposed to remove the tumor but it had grown so much that they could only scrape out part of it. The tumor had covered 70% of his bladder. Normally the course of action for this would be to remove the bladder all together and he would utilize a colostomy bag, but my dad also had a heart condition that made his heart extremely weak. They advised against the surgery to remove the bladder because they didn’t think his heart was strong enough to handle being under the anesthesia that long. He was release from Roswell to go home and rest up; an appointment was set for February 18th to repeat the tumor scraping procedure. On January 20th he became sick with a fever.  His temperature was up to 105* when he went to the emergency room. They kept him there as long as they could, but with blood pressure was low and he needed a more aggressive treatment that they could only administer in the Intensive Care Unit. Monday morning I called my mom to see how he was doing and she told me that he had a urinary tract infection that went septic. The infection was in his blood and they were doing what they could to get him healthy again. I asked her if I should make the 2 hour drive to be there. She keep telling me that the doctor thinks he would beat this and he would be going home eventually. I could tell in my mom’s voice that she could use me there so I told my supervisor at my new job that I had to leave and I would keep in touch if something went wrong. I get to the hospital around 11:00am. I went right into the I.C.U. and saw my dad. He looked better than I thought he would.  The only problem was that he couldn’t get comfortable. He was more comfortable on his side, but that dropped his blood pressure down significantly. The highest I saw was 72/42 the lowest was 44/20. He wasn’t doing well…When it was just him and me in the room he asked me what time it was. I told him it was around 11:45am, he said that he wouldn’t make it past 12:30.  He was wrong on that one. The doctor had to keep upping his medication because it just wasn’t working. When the doctor came into the I.C.U. room my dad was laying in at 5:30pm I heard the worst thing I have ever heard in my life. The doctor told my dad that his kidneys had shut down and there was nothing they could do to get them working again. Dialysis would only make the other problems he had going on worse. The doctor gave my dad a choice; he could continue treatment and hope that his kidneys start back up or the doctor could make him comfortable. My dad chose comfort. The doctor asked he if knew what he was saying and my dad said “Yes, I’m going to die.” That was hard. Almost as hard as hearing my mom, about 2 hours before, tell my dad that he can be selfish, he could go if he wanted to, he didn’t have to stay around in pain any more. My mom is a strong woman and that tore me up. At 5:45pm my dad made the decision. At 8:00 they stopped the infusion of medication and gave him pain killers. At 8:45pm I watched my father take his final breath.


Life is hard…but you need to keep pressing on. I lost a great mentor in my life, but I’ll never forget all that he taught me. If I can be half the father he was to me, I’ll be the greatest dad in the world.


If you made it this far in the post you are awesome. This was a little all over the place but I wanted to summarize the last 6 months. Keep strong friends.


Long days and pleasant nights,

Shoeless Joe



Santa Fe/Bandalier National Monument

Gumball 3000 Santa Fe

Random Thought

The answer will always be no if you are too afraid to ask the question.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Now stop browsing the information super highway and enjoy your friends and family. Don’t forget there’s a Football game on today as well. Watch the parade, eat some food, watch the game and have fun!

Keeping Your Head On Straight

Sometimes life gets a little hectic. You end up burning the candle at both ends and burning out. This last week has been like that. I have had so many obligations that needed to be fulfilled that I didn’t think it could be done. But, here it is. It’s Saturday and I’m still alive. Everything that needed to be done has been done.

My band participated in an Anti-Bullying Awareness show on Thursday. It was a very touching evening. Everyone who participated did an amazing job and I hope that this is the start of something great.

Last night my band played an acoustic show in 30 degree weather for Daemen College’s Homecoming Weekend. It was so cold that my fingers were getting numb and I couldn’t feel the strings.

Add on to all of this the full and part-time jobs and it was a crazy busy week. I got through it. It wasn’t easy, but I got through it. I have to admit that by Tuesday I felt like quitting my job and running away from life. This isn’t the right mind set to have when you are trying to live life. Even though I would love to just go of into the woods and live off the land, I know that this isn’t the right thing for me to do at this point and time. What got me through this week was my close friends and “me time”.

Even though you have a lot on your plate you cannot forget the most important person in your life. YOU. Everyone needs to make time to have for yourself. If you make a list of what you do all day, or even keep a journal of what you do throughout a day, I can almost guarantee that you will not have enough “free time” in your schedule. Everyone has obligations to things like: school, work, friends, hobbies, etc. Now things that you may try to consider “me time” might actually not be. Taking your morning shower is an example of this. To know if this is “me time’ ask yourself, ‘When I take a shower in the morning am I thinking about what I have to do today?’ If you are, then that’s not “me time” that’s “planning time” A shower should be not only cleansing your body, but your mind and spirit as well. As the water hits you, imagine your stress and negative energy washing down from your head to your toes and then down the drain. If you spend your shower time planning and worrying about the day ahead you are just getting more flustered and frustrated than if you take that time to relax and refresh your system. Starting your day out on a positive note will echo throughout your day.

That was just one example of how to take time for yourself to make your life a little less stressful. Another thing you can do (especially if you are a stickler for schedules) is to actually schedule “me time”. Take your daily planner, your iPhone, your iPad, your Blackberry, your Droid, whatever you use to keep track of your day and schedule yourself some time for you. All you need is a half hour a day where you can do nothing and just be you. This refresh time is crucial to having a happy life and allowing your personal legend to lead you.

I understand that there are things in your life that take up a lot of your day. Kids can be the worst time draining thing in your life. But like I said earlier, you can use your morning shower as your time to relax. If you take a shower in the afternoon, do it there. Just make sure that when you take time for yourself it’s doing something that you love; something for you.

If you have any questions about this post; any comments or responses, leave one for me and I’ll try to address it.


Long days and pleasant nights,

Shoeless Joe Kenyon

Making a First Relationship

We’ve all been there; it’s your first day at a new school, or in a new class without any of your friends in it, or a new job and the butterflies are going crazy in your tum-tum. You are completely alone, no friends yet, a little confused about what exactly is going to happen. Unless you are an out-going person who loves meeting new people and being everyone’s friend you are in a strange situation. The first thing you try to do is make at least one friend. You try to find someone to talk to and feel a little less awkward. We all have a desire to fit in and not be the outcast. We want to feel at home. Let’s face it, when you have a job you spend more waking hours there than you do at home. And college? That’s worse, because it is your home. If you don’t feel comfortable there, you won’t do well. That first “relationship” is crucial to success in your new setting.

According to American College Testing (ACT), one in every four students leaves college before completing sophomore year. What’s more, nearly half of all freshmen will either drop out before getting their degree or complete their college education elsewhere. (http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0BTR/is_4_22/ai_84599442/)

A major reason for this is that they don’t make a strong connection with someone. This isn’t a physical connection either (but it helps a lot) it’s simply finding a friend who can help you get through the hard times and meet new people. It is so much easier to make friends when you already have one. I met my first friend at my college orientation. At the end of the 2 day event we decided that we wanted to be roommates freshman year. Our reason was because we didn’t want to get stuck with a “weirdo”. Turns out that’s what we both got. The thing here is, that we had started becoming friends and it made staying in college a lot more desirable and obtainable. We ended up staying roommates until he went to a different college to work on his new major in education. We remained friends to this day and if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have joined a fraternity that I eventually became the president of. One thing that happened freshman year was that my roommate started to take on some of my traits and behaviors as I did some of his.  Halfway through our first semester our RA (resident assistant) couldn’t tell us a part. One night we were drinking in a friend’s dorm room, which was a no-no, and Corky (my roommate) ended up leaving. About 20 mins after he left the RA came and busted up the party. He asked if I was Corky and I told him that I was Joe. The RA said that he could never tell us apart since we were always together. A lot of people would just say hi to us without knowing who was who. While we were getting written up Corky comes back to grab a hoodie he forgot and the RA said, “So you’re Corky” and he said that he was, thinking that we had ratted him out. If we weren’t so alike he wouldn’t have gotten in trouble with the rest of us. This just goes to show how when you make that first friend you start to become like them.
Our situation was unique as we were both in a new situation, but what happens when you’re the new person and your friend is a seasoned veteran. Typically the new person takes on the friends traits while the person who has been in the job longer doesn’t change much if at all. In my 3 years at my current job I have watched people change from the nervous little mice that come in to the protégées of their “mentors”. It happened with me as well. When I came into my current position, my mentor was a jaded/suspicious/quiet person. In a matter of weeks I too was jaded and suspicious as well. It’s sad when I see people come in and they make the wrong first friend. There are some downright mean people here and when a new person comes in and finds themselves sitting next to a mean person, within a couple weeks, that new person is just as mean. We find one person to help us adjust to the new setting and subconsciously we begin to portray the same personality traits as that person. This can be beneficial and detrimental. If the person you meet is a nice, friendly, helpful person; your role in the new environment will be the same. If the person is a nasty, cunt of a whore, you will start to become one as well. This is all part of our desire to fit in and be accepted.