Don’t base your idea of happiness on others and what they have achieved. Life is full of forks in the road and we need to be happy with the choices we have made.
Ride the wave.
Recently, I had the opportunity to go down to Costa Rica for about a week. It was a great experience and to risk sounding cliche….it was life changing. While there, I spent a lot of my time just being in the moment. I enjoyed great food, great company and even took a surf lesson.
It was the moments after that first time surfing when it hit me. I was sitting on the edge of the jungle under a small thatch roof pavilion; looking out at the ocean. The conversation had died down and we were all sitting there on benches made from driftwood. It all sort of ‘clicked’ and came together. I felt like I found myself. I understood that what I was doing in that moment was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. It was a little moment of nirvana/enlightenment. I had achieved my inner ‘Dude’
My challenge now is: how do I keep this vibe going while I’m back home in Buffalo?
Sunday, June 2nd 2019 is going to be the first ever Dudeism services in Buffalo, NY! Fellow Dude, John W. and I are starting up a Dudiest congregation. We are still working on the official name, but that will come in time. Feel free to join us! Use our contact form for more info.
Recently, there have been a few main distractions in my life. Not really distractions, as these are hobbies. I have been thinking about how I can focus on these more.
I have been performing with the improv group ComedySportz Buffalo and this has been awesome! I get paid to make people laugh which is a great gig. Definitely part of my personal legend.
I have also embarked on a journey of blacksmithing. I have set up a forge in my backyard/shed and I have begun making small items. I feel like this is an avenue for a side gig.
With the good weather right around the corner, I am gearing up for camping, buahcraft and hiking. I would like to create some YouTube videos of this. This too could be a nice little side gig. I have a preview of one here: https://youtu.be/VfS0qBkZfgs
Therefore, I would like to announce that I am going to include Wandering Cat Forge and Long Dog Bushcraft to the Barefoot Buffalo world. These two activities are a large part of me and Barefoot Buffalo IS me.
I’m excited to have a place to share all of my new adventures. Stay tuned for more content!
Long days and pleasent nights,
PS I didn’t mention the Diligent Loiter world because that is separate from.the Barefoot Buffalo.
If you are anything like me, you find it extremely hard to know what to do next. It may even get to the point where you say, “Fuck it! A nap sounds pretty good right now…” Well, there is a way to fix this. Instead of waiting for free time to figure out what you want/need to do, how about you make a plan!
There are 3 main phases to how I make my plan of attack when it comes to my “life’s work”. I have just begun this method and it seems to be working out fairly well for me. It would be going so much better if this damn weather would cooperate. -5 air temps are no fun.
*Hint: A large desk calendar comes in super duper handy*
Phase 1: The Monthly Plan
This is where you will plan out what you need to do this month. This can include what days your bills are due, any doctors appointments, etc. The main items that should go on anyone’s calendar. If you are an internet content creator, this is where you would set up your publishing dates. Think of the monthly plan as your Final Step for any projects. This is all of your due dates.
Phase 2: The Weekly Plan
Every week is going to be different. That being said, you should pick a day to plan out your week. I like to do mine on Saturday nights (I know, I’m lame). I usually plan through the next Sunday, that way I have more than a day’s notice to prepare for what I have planned.
For the weekly plan, you should figure out what goals/milestones you need to hit each day in order to make you monthly goals actually happen. These are not scheduled by times, just what needs to get done each day to bring you closer to your goals. For example, on Monday, your task could be to reach out to potential sponsors for your podcast. Then, on Friday, one of your tasks could be to make sure you received a response from that sponsor.
If you have a blog, youtube channel, etc and you know that you want your content to go live on Friday mornings at 5:00, then your weekly plan should include the small steps that will get you there. Some posts or videos will take more time to research and perfect. This is where your monthly plan comes into play. If you have set a publish day for each of your projects, your weeks leading up should include the small steps to get you there. When you have an idea for a project/post you can add to your weekly plan the groundwork phases for what your need to get to the final product. Once you know you are close and you can set a firm finish goal, that is when you enter that into your monthly calendar.
*I know this sounds confusing, but once you get started it seems to just come together. If I was more computer literate, I would have all sorts of diagrams, but I’m not that smart. Yet.*
Phase 3: The Daily Plan
Once you have completed your weekly plan, you need to start scheduling things. For your daily plan, you want to schedule out everything you want/need to get done. I have a full time job so the majority of my day is blocked off for that. I also like to workout regularly, so I need to schedule a time for that. I need to set aside time for what I call my “life’s work” which is all of this stuff; Barefoot Buffalo blog, my youtube channel, my podcast, everything that I am doing that isn’t my “real job”. A typical day for me looks like this:
As you can (maybe) see, is that I just block out times where I intend to work on shit. Inside each of those I have a description that tells me exactly what to work on, when that item is due to publish etc. I’m still working out a ton of youtube videos. There aren’t even on my Monthly Calendar because they aren’t even in the recording phase. Once I get the videos/posts everything into the editing phase is when they go on my calendar.
To summarize, the three phases go from the big picture down to the small picture. You plan your main items first, then fill in with what needs to get done then figure out exactly how to go about getting it done.
When you have a plan, especially like this, it becomes extremely easy to not get off track. If you have every little step planned out, you won’t find yourself with free time thinking ‘I know I want to do something, but what do I want to do?’ You’ll just end up wasting your free time trying to figure out what it is you want to spend your free time doing.
Your plan doesn’t need to be as complete as mine. I need mine to be more specific or else I end up taking naps. And naps are not productive. They feel great! But, they don’t really do much to further you along your path.
I use Google Calendar. I have my iPhone calendar set up so that I can see my Google Calendar in the iPhone’s Calendar app. It was a pain to set up, but it’s worth it. Super streamlined and accessible everywhere.
If you have any questions or suggestions, leave a comment and I’ll respond! I like talking with people. It let’s me know someone actually reads these things.
Long days and pleasant nights,
OH MY GOSH! It’s been way to freaking long since I’ve done any posts about personal legends. I have good excuses, but that’s all they are excuses. Nobody has time for excuses.
Here is my update regarding my own person legend. I was let go from my full time job. The company decided that it didn’t want to be a company anymore and everyone got the boot. Shitty. I powered through though! I ended getting a new job, this one is for a better cause. I went from a collections agency to a Mental Health and Chemical Dependency Provider Network. I feel like what I’m doing now isn’t just getting a paycheck, but helping (behind the scenes stuff) to help others get better.
On the 16th, it will be 9 months smoke free. That one is big for me. Nothing helps you move forward like leaving your bad habits behind. While I left smoking (the bad) behind, I also left some good behind as well. I pretty much had to. I had to let a part of me die that day. As a result there were some other casualties as well. I severely injured a lifelong friendship. I wish it didn’t happen that way, but all of my memories with this person had our mutual friend cigarettes in them as well. Whenever we would talk on the phone we would both be smoking. It was our way of staying connected over long distances. That has been hard for me, but it also has been good for me. He has a family now and doesn’t need to be spending time wasting it on hours long phone calls with me. I’m happy for him. He’s doing great for himself and we do still keep in touch. Just not nearly on the scale it once was.
So, I quit smoking, lost my job, didn’t go back to smoking to deal with the stress of that, found a new job, and Barefoot Buffalo came back into my life.
I admit, I had pretty much left Barefoot Buffalo to die. I wasn’t feeling it. How could someone who was dealing with so much shit, write articles about being happy? My dad had just passed away and I couldn’t handle trying to make others happy when I could barely make myself happy. I tried to bring back Barefoot Buffalo, but it never stayed. After all of that though…it seems that instead of me coming back to barefootbuffalo.com, barefootbuffalo.com has come back to me. The ideas about the cosmic energy in all of us and our personal legends all of that shit has come slamming back into me. I now understand that being in hard times is a good place to be when writing articles about being happy, finding happiness and making the most out of your life. I was living the depressed life for over 2 years. I have gained a lot of experience being down and bringing myself back up. I wish I was writing during that dark period. I would have had a lot of unique takes on being happy and how to get there. I was trying some strange ways to be happy. Of course I tried the usual coping mechanisms like stress eating…Yup. Let’s call it stress eating…. Whoops.
That’s where GYM419 came from. I had made the decision to stop being depressed and fat and just be fat. Now I’m getting all happy and shit and it’s time to not be fat too! I realized that this site isn’t really the place for posting workouts. I will be posting on twitter and possibly facebook what workouts I’m doing. I may even make a sister site. Who knows where life will take me!?
I sure as hell don’t know.
I’m just here for the ride.
Long days and pleasant nights,
Yo, if you are looking to pass some time, check out Urban Dead (Not a sponsor, I just play this game and fucking love it. If you decide to play, join my group: I Am Jack’s Smirking Revenge) Urban Dead is a free-to-play, browser-based multi-player game where you play the survivor or victim of a zombie outbreak in a quarantined city center, alongside tens of thousands of others.
“In death, the city stirs. Its borders still locked down after a sudden government quarantine seven years ago, Malton’s trapped civilians make their way through the derelict buildings, surviving the changing seasons to rebuild their fragmented society from the rubble upwards. Military cleanup squads patrol the empty streets, stationed in the city for the long haul, while embedded scientific groups continue the experiments that brought them here.
And the dead rise up and thrive, trailing through the ruined streets of the city, milling between buildings and clawing through makeshift barricades and diversions, reclaiming the city as their own.”
Hint: Start with the “Free Running” skill. It makes the beginning of the game soooo much easier.
Everyone who has any sense of wonder at the universe has at least heard of the phrase, Negativity Breads Negativity. But why is this? Why is it that when someone is having a shitty day, your day seems to fall apart as well?
I have been dealing with a situation recently where someone close to me has been crying a lot. I don’t feel like I’m in a position to ask what’s wrong. I don’t know this person on a very personal level and I have only known this person professionally for less than 3 months. It was going on for a couple days straight and every time I heard her sniffling begin I was overcome with a sense of deep sorrow. My heart felt like it sunk to the floor and I felt like I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Now, why should I feel like this? My day was going splendidly. I was happy listening to a podcast and pounding through my work, then BOOM! super sadness attack.
The only thing I can think of is empathy and the idea that humans are all cosmically linked.
Why does negativity breed negativity? Why do bad vibes fuck with your good vibes? Why do good vibes brighten bad vibes? We all have that friend who can light up a room just by being in it, and we all have that friend who brings down everyone’s mood when they enter the room. Why is this?
Empathy is when you share the feelings with someone else. You understand their emotions and you sympathize with them. You mood actually changes to match the feelings you are around. I believe that everyone is built with this subconscious mechanism to help their loved ones cope with situations. If you are feeling down and someone comes over with that slightly sad look on their face and gives you a hug, you feel better. Knowing that someone else understands how your feeling sparks that fire of happiness. It won’t necessarily make you feel happy and ready to take on the world, but it gives you that jumpstart.
Everyone is linked cosmically. We all have spirits that use our bodies as vessels to occupy this dimension. Our spirits are all linked. We can understand each other just by looking at them. Have you ever stared into someones eyes. I mean actually stared into someones eyes. If you haven’t I suggest you do. Ask someone you are close with to stare into each others eyes. Nothing sexual here, no feelings intended. You’re not holding hands and smiling at each other. It’s best if you are close enough so you can’t even see their mouths. Just eyes to eyes. Hell, you can even just stare into your own eyes in the mirror. HOLY SHIT! It’s the craziest things you can do. Tell me that we are not linked. When you look deeply into someones eyes, it feels like your souls are connecting. You can get lost in your own gaze if you stare deep enough into the mirror. It’s the craziest experience.
What does all of this have to do with negativity breeding negativity? I’ve been rambling, I know. It’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve written on here and there are so many ideas I want to write about. They all seem to be seeping out at once. But these ideas do have a lot to do with contagious moods.
Because we are all linked and our minds like to imitate others emotions we tend to drift towards the strongest emotion in the area. A negative person is typically the complainer. They like to voice their negativity. That is why you always seem to get sucked into that void of ugliness. It’s all around you when there is a negative person there. Imagine negativity as a heavy emotion and happiness as a light emotion. It’s easy for negativity to weigh down happiness.
I’m so excited to be writing that I haven’t thought out a proper outline for this post. I apologize. I got the itch and I don’t want to lose it. I’m back on track with my personal journey that I’m just diving in!
Back to my story. The coworker who was crying. I was being brought down from her “heavy” emotions. I wasn’t sure how to respond as we are not really that close. I ended up letting her supervisor know that she seemed upset and that I though it could be work stress related. I hope that when they met they were able to address the underlying causes of her being upset and frustrated at work. The coworker did end up seeming better later in the day.
If you see someone having a bad day, try to do something to make it better. Even a small compliment could boost someone’s mood. It doesn’t take much.
Alright, I’m sorry for the lack of professionalism with this post. My next posts will be more thought out. I just had to get these ideas down. I will expand in future posts. I am also going to be revisiting some older ideas and making them more complete. My personal journey took some crazy twists and detours, but I find myself back at Barefoot Buffalo…that has to mean something……..
Long days and pleasant night,
Sometimes you have to make the tough decision of putting yourself or others first. Before you make your decision you need to look at the entire situation. Does what you want to do interfere with what you should do or is it something that you want to do to make others happy? That’s the big question right there. Is this something that makes you happy or someone else happy? You need to remember that this is your life, not someone else’s that you are living. If someone wants you to do something (move to a new area, get a different job, change your hairstyle, your fashion style, anything) and you don’t want to do it you need to ask yourself if this is part of your plan or is this simply a distraction? Sometimes it can be hard telling someone you are close to that you are going to do something against their wishes.
If you have been putting yourself second to others it may be time for a change. You only get one trip on this world so you need to make the most of it. If someone tells you that you need to do something to make them happy but in the process you lose part of who you are I wouldn’t do it. It’s hard to change your lifestyle and even harder to go against others wishes. You need to do whatever makes you happy. If you’d rather take a job that pays less, but you have more free time to live your life why not take that chance? What if you pass that by and the opportunity doesn’t come back again? Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith and stick to your guns.
When it comes to making decisions you are the only one who decides the outcome. Start putting yourself first. It’s your life so why not take control of it. Everyone has the power to lead. If you can’t lead your own life how are you going to reach your personal legend? We are not children anymore. We are the future and the future is here so let’s make a stand for what we want and what is right!
Let’s recap: We have learned about the Weekly and Monthly Bucket Lists. These lists are helping us to be more active and bring more excitement into our lives. The planning of these events is half of the fun. When trying to come up with something to do each month that goes above and beyond your normal activity level you look deep into yourself and decide what you can and might not be able to do. Take those might nots and go for it.
Once you decide what is going on your lists the planning starts. Figure out exactly when you are going to do these events and with whom you plan to do them with. Is it a solo run or a group one? What’s the agenda? If you are traveling, where are you staying? What else can you do on this trip? Planning a bucket list event is half of the fun. You psych yourself up so much for it that you are basically living it while you plan. You’ll see when you begin to work on the next list.
The last list that you will need will be your Yearly Bucket List. This is the list that will most closely resemble a “typical” bucket list. This is where you put the big boys.
- Sky Diving
- Free Diving
- Go to a different country
- Go to a different continent
- Go see my sports team play on the opposite coast.
You know what the big ones are and what you want to do. This is where you put them. You will want to make this list for you. If you cannot afford to travel; don’t. You can come up with cheap/free things to do for a Yearly Bucket List. If you like to camp you can try extreme survival camping. Go out with only a tarp and some string (food too, you don’t want to go outside your skill level). Take something you like to a higher level. That’s the point of this list: To take what you’ve been doing with your other lists to the extreme.
Remember. Don’t make a “standard” bucket list. A bucket list is a list of dreams with an untangible deadline (no pun intended). When you make a list of things to do before you die, you can slip into the mindset of, ‘Well…I would like to do this, but I still have time…’ When in reality, you don’t know if you are going to see tomorrow let alone next year. It’s a sad fact but that’s why I’m sharing this with you. Live your life to the fullest. Make everyday an adventure and have fun! This is your life. You only get one chance so why waste it doing shit you don’t like?
Long days and pleasant nights,
After you have started working on your Weekly Bucket List it is now time to move into something a little more involve. This would be the Monthly Bucket List. Your Monthly Bucket List is reserved for things that are more intense and time consuming. Items would be put on this list to get you out even more than your Weekly Bucket List. Some ideas would include:
Go see a musical.
- Or a concert. Something that gives you enjoyment and gets you out of the house. In the summer you can find a lot of free outdoor events. Just find the website for your cities events and go from there
- Go somewhere different. Maybe there is a cool state park nearby that you can go to for a day or two
- Is there a festival happening nearby
- Heritage (Scottish, Irish, German, Hellenic, etc.)
- Town Festivals
- County and State Fairs?
- Go see them!
- I live near Niagara Falls but I don’t go there at all. I’ve been in Buffalo for 6 years and have seen the falls 4 times
- Science Museums
- Art Galleries
- Having the chance to yell at the people in real life that you normally yell at on TV feels great.
Your Monthly Bucket List should be 1-2 items that you will cross off your list each month. Try not to count the same event multiple months in a row. If you are an avid sports fan and go to a professional game every month that doesn’t count for your Monthly Bucket List. The idea here is to get you out and doing something more intense than your weekly lists. Do you see the pattern yet?
Good luck working on your Monthly Bucket Lists. Let me know what type of things you are putting on your list for December.
Long days and pleasant nights,
Your life is yours to live however you want so why not live one to the fullest?
Consider making yourself a weekly bucket list, a monthly bucket list, and a yearly bucket list. They don’t need to be a long list of ridiculous things, but realistic things that will make your life more exciting. I don’t like the idea of a bucket list because you never know when your time is up. If you keep putting something off long enough, you will kick the bucket before you have taken the chance to do it.
The weekly bucket list is a list of silly things. This is the list for things that aren’t really life changing but can make you a better-rounded person. Things that would typically be on this are:
- Watch a movie you normally wouldn’t watch.
- If you like chick-flicks, watch an action movie.
- If you like horror movies, try a comedy.
- If you’re into drama, try a musical.
- Take a walk to your local library.
- You don’t need to rent anything, but if you would go to Barnes and Noble to look around, why not go to your local library and support them! Most libraries let you rent books to your Kindle too!
- Play on a playground.
- I know, you’re too old for a playground aren’t you? I don’t, I go to my local playground all the time. It’s a great place to work out and relive your childhood. Being outdoors is amazing and it feels great to get off the couch and away from the TV for a while.
- Have coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in a while.
- If you have lost touch with a friend who still lives nearby, why not call them up and see if they want to grab a cup of coffee or maybe even hit up happy hour? There’s no reason to lose a friend because you don’t have “time”
- Join a book club.
- If you like to read, why not share that hobby with a group of people. Not only are you doing something that you enjoy, you may also make some new friends in the process.
- It doesn’t need to be a book club; a lot of bars have a beer club.
- If you are really enthusiastic, you could try helping out your local scouting organization. They are always looking for more people to help out with events and meetings. Even if you don’t have a kid, you may still be able to be a part of these groups; as long as you have a scouting background (i.e. Eagle Scout, your kid was a scout but moved away. You tried scouts when you were a kid and now you want to get back into it.) Just talk to these groups and see if they could use the extra help.
- Come up with something of your own. What do you want to try sometime? A new restaurant? A new recipe? Did you find out about a board game that looks awesome but haven’t had a chance to play? The possibilities are endless.
Your Weekly Bucket List should be 1-3 things that you would like to try out. These should be nothing too serious, but things that make you be more active and that’s the point. This will help you ease out of your sedentary lifestyle and move into an adventurous one.
Leave a comment with some more ideas for a Weekly Bucket List so we can see what you all are doing!
Long days and pleasant nights,
How nice is it to have a great dream? Not a “I Have A Dream!” dream but the unconscious, sleeping dream. I love dreaming. I love having the freedom to do whatever I want to whenever I want to. In a dream you can talk to anyone you want to. In a dream, you are the one in control. If you can do the elusive Lucid Dreaming, you have even more control. A lucid dream is basically a dream that you don’t wake up from when you know that you are dreaming. If you can figure out that you are in a dream you now have complete power over that it.
Here is an example of a lucid dream. It starts off with you working in a busy downtown office building. You don’t really like your job and want to be away from the office as much as possible. It’s almost your lunch time and your boss comes bumbling in. “I’m going to need you to work late today.” You look at the clock and you can’t seem to read it.* Needed to step away before you go off the handle and quit, you take your lunch break. Since your office is just a short walk to this really nice cafe you decide to go there and grab a cup of coffee. You walk past shop windows and then you see something that catches your eye. All of a sudden….WamBO!! ‘I am in a dream…I can do whatever I want!’ (And you really can! In a dream you can fulfill all of your wildest fantasies and even the most modest desires.) At this point you start tinkering with your dream. The stop lights all change in your favor, people aren’t bothering you and then…there’s that person you’ve been wanting to talk to for weeks but haven’t had the guts to do it until now (in the safety of your dream). You and your crush stop to chat about this and that, and then you ask if they want to go grab a cup of coffee. Of course they say yes, (it’s your dream) and when you finally make it to that coffee shop and sit down you wake up, you remember that it was a dream and nothing more. Your crush didn’t really want to go have coffee with you…or do they?
Why can’t we live our lives like we are in a dream? Why do we need to be so scared of rejection? How do you know that the person you like doesn’t like you back? Have you asked them? I challenge you to start living your life as if you are dreaming. Take chances you normally wouldn’t. DON’T BE STUPID! You can’t fly so don’t go jumping off of roofs, you are not Aquaman so don’t go trying to hold your breath for 20 mins under water. Keep things safe. Don’t go out and harm yourself or others. If your dream is to kill someone then you are at the wrong website. I don’t condone harmful actions or support those who do harm others. Do only good and only good will come to you. So, treat your life as if you are dreaming. If you see someone you would like to talk to, go do it! Don’t be afraid of consequences. A “NO” will hurt, I know it will, but how much more would it hurt if you didn’t make that first move and you find out years down the road that it would have been a “yes”???
*When in a dream, clocks and mirrors will have blurry images. This is a trick to recognizing that you are in a dream.
Long days and pleasant nights